Recently I stumbled upon a blog post by Abby Hubert who wrote about how she felt afraid and sad even when she has everything going amazing for her in her life.
You can read her full post here.
That is so me.
I recognise myself a lot in what she said because….
I just had the most amazing 3 blardy weeks in Bali. (and looking to forward Hanoi in October and Thailand in December)
I have a generous and loving husband who is my best friend.
I don’t have to work.
I have a beautiful home.
Yet I’ve ALL these insecurities, fear and sadness that makes me feel less than; and my lie that “I’m not good enough” keeps coming up.
Trish, my good friend and my yoga soul sister said to me, quoting Baron Baptiste - “Your Not-Good-Enough is waiting to happen.”
(Disclaimer: Well she didn't say Not-Good-Enough, the word she used was “unwelcoming” but I guess you can insert your any of your “Lies” into the sentence - “My _____ is Waiting to Happen.” So I heard it as my Lie!)
It didn’t make sense in the beginning. Then I heard it again…..
My not-good-enough is showing up and waiting to happen, because I’m allowing it to happen, just by thinking it.
Baptiste Yoga has broken me out of a cycle of doubts and of not-good-enoughs in that, it has made me aware of the negative thoughts that has been swirling around my mind my entire life. These wayward thoughts were Lies that I believed as my Truth.
That being said, the power is not in ignoring my Lie, but in acknowledging it, because the Lie has been my armor, it kept me safe in my comfort zone and made me who I am today.
The truth is we are all GOOD enough right where we are, and we can take our power back by changing the words we say to ourselves.
When all else Fails, just take a DEEP INHALATION and a DEEP EXHALATION.
When you inhale, there is a sense of filling up, energising, of prana, so fill up from the centre and radiate out. When you exhale, soften where you can soften - your shoulders, your jaw, your heart centre.
And YES PLEASE take a couple more of those. It’s Free.
I’d like to share Abby’s mantra here to meditate on moments of anxiety and sadness.
Know that you are not alone.
Today I will remember that I am a badass that can kick any day’s ass.
There is nothing to fear.
Today I will fight for joy by taking moments to pause and breathe
and take in the good around me.
Today I will look for the gifts and privileges this day brings me.
Today I will nourish and comfort the anxious parts of myself.
Today I will nourish and take care of my body and my five senses
because I am worthy of care.
Today I will do my best to love well (more than harm).
Today I will hold my (and others’) imperfections and failures with grace
I am human and
I am flawed.
I am still worthy of care and love,
rest and pampering,
grace and goodness.
TWLOHA is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope & finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, & suicide.
I acknowledge TWLOHA for giving me access to experience empathy in a new way.
PPS. And I acknowledge you, Abby for sharing your story.