I’m FEELING a little something MORE this week that made me want to go into my hiding place, my little safe burrow under my blanket of sand and not come out and be seen.
I was not going to say anything about it. But if you’ve followed my Baptiste Yoga journey Level Two :
THE HIDING I GAVE UP WAS MY SADNESS
And I am ready to give it up again right now.
My name is Sophie.
The hiding I give up is my Sadness.
I don’t want to hide my sadness.
That is who I am.
I embrace it fully.
For the last few days, I’ve been listening to my own meditation podcast - and funnily what I wrote 4 weeks ago suddenly became so clear and real to me now, as if I knew I was going to need this recording later.
It’s about accepting uncertainties, and acceptance gives access to freedom and vitality.
Accepting uncertainties is not easy. It’s a lot of work.
Last year I struggled with the potential move to the UK, and this year, it’s something else. And maybe I did face uncertainties in the past but I wasn’t awake then. I was hiding.
I was very good at hiding my feelings. And it is exhausting to hide! I’m still doing it. I caught myself saying I’m ok when I’m not.
What stood out for me in the meditation was the quote from Melodie Beattie and it goes like this:
“There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next.
Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering. We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.
Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.
It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say “I don’t know,” and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none. While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold.
Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.
Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.
Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.”
And what came up for me was:
I’m not alone!
During the 40 Days program and the 2 x 40 Days community sessions, I listened to stories from my students about their fears, their worries, their insecurities etc. The circumstances, environments and situations are different but the feelings and emotions are the same.
How I manage my fears was the practise of being Present. Living in the present helped me to stop worrying about the future and to care less about my past. The flip side is living in the present moment means acknowledging every emotion that filters through. If I want to practise living in the moment, I also have to feel whatever comes up. I have to live vivaciously through my emotions.
Honestly, I don’t want to be a numb nut, pretending to be ok when I’m not. I want to be passionate about life. I want to be free.
And so if I’m sad, that’s where I’ll be, sad but liberated in my sad corner but with the people whom I know, will support me and be empathetic.
I don’t need sympathy right now; not the “I hope you are ok” (how am I supposed to answer that!) or the fix-its of “have faith and trust the process” .
empathy is connection to the emotion
If you care about me; about the people in your life, learn to find empathy.
Brene Brown says Empathy is “feeling” with people. And I know now even if I’ve not been through what some of you have been true, I know what it feels like, uncertain and scared? And maybe you don’t “feel” because “you don’t want to feel” - you don’t want to go there. Either way, you may not know what to say.
Whether you don’t know what to say or whether you don’t have anything kind to say- SAY NOTHING!
If you know someone who is facing a difficult challenge or difficult situation, often they are not looking for a magic response that will fix everything . They may be looking for someone who can help them feel like they aren’t alone in solving the problem. They are definitely looking for a connection, connection to the emotion and that’s what empathy is all about.
Think about that.
And if you are facing a difficult challenge or difficult situation, know that
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Right now, I’m going to share with you the following 2 things because I have them and why not.
First is a printable copy of Melodie’s beautiful writings (jpg and pdf) for you to save on your phone or to print and place it somewhere where you can see.
Second is my 10 meditation podcast. It’s not perfect but it’s enough for right now.
They are not a quick-fixes and neither would they would solve your problems. But they are tools that will hopefully give access to acceptance and connection.
I got you.
Please share with anyone whom you think needs it.
10 MINS MEDITATION (part of Week #2 of the 40 Days to Personal Revolution)
Love you all and may all beings be light, sad and everything you want to feel with no judgement.