This post very nearly didn't happen. My thoughts was who'd want to listen to Sophie’s #randomtalking about LOVE and in this case, BAD LOVE!
But being vulnerable helps me get in touch with my inner woman so here's my last post on the Self-Love Series!
Self-Love is important because only when we find love within ourselves (ME) then we can be truly compassionate and be kind towards others (YOU). And the world will be a better place to live in and we can slowly build a community/family of WE.
But before we get to the WE, there’s something we need to sort out between ME and YOU. We were born of love; at least that's what I like to believe. But then the love is lost in our genetic make-up because I also believe we, women were CATS in our past lives - then how do you explain the irrational cattiness?? If you put a group of men in a room, they’ll be bonding over beer and see who can isolate their man-boobies best! If you put a group of women in the room, the claws come out!
And Alicia Thew, lady boss of my ex-studio Yoga Movement - posted this rant on fb a couple of months ago - "There is absolutely no point being all ‘girlfriend’ or ‘girl power’ and shit when female dominated industries are actually the bitchiest and the worst!!!“
Aren’t we on the same side? I guess NOT.
Yes, we are all in the business of making money.. But SO WHAT if you are successful at what you do? SO WHAT if you look good in wearing the pin-striped suit or sponsored yoga clothing? SO WHAT if we have equal rights, SO WHAT about the #metoo campaign? SO WHAT?!
If you do not take the time to listen to what you are saying, you will hurt others in the process, especially If you say one thing in front of others and another thing to another. It could just take one word to destroy a friendship, relationship and even your life's work. Your words make your life.
We have a tendency to judge too much from how much make up, we are wearing, or not wearing, how skinny we are or how much weight we’ve put on, what we are wearing, how successfully we are or not.. and so that translates to us judging women for what they have or are because we see in them what we cannot have. And that also translates to all the negative self-talk we do to ourselves. It's hard to drop the ego and the "What-about-me?" syndrome!
I know because it is something I am struggling with myself, and it's a constant practice of being grateful for what I have every single day. And you know what? SO WHAT?!
THE UGLY TRUTH ABOUT BEING A WOMAN
We are too judgemental and too self-critical. At one point we have to ask ourselves -
"What’s with all the the unspoken word, the jealousy, the cattiness, when we are all here for the same purpose - to find joy in whatever we do?"
Can we change our words?
Yes. You have the choice, to empower others and not take their power away from them.
How? What do we need to do to come back to our inner female sense in the madness of real life?
We move our bodies physically through asanas to create access to love, vitality and freedom. We meditate to give access for our mind to get awakened, be clear and present. And there’s self-inquiry or Svadhyaya so we can continue to grow and be in discovery of new possibilities.
ANCIENT YOGA SECRET TO LIVING A NON-JUDGEMENTAL (PEACEFUL) LIFE
If you are yoga teacher or a true yogi, you’ve probably read about the 8 Limbs of Yoga. If not, come over HERE.
And since this is about practising love to others - ATTENTION TO THE YAMAS!!
YAMAS (Guidelines for one’s behaviour towards others)
- Ahimsa: Nonviolence - one should be kind to others
- Satya: Truthfulness - one should be sincere and say what you mean.
- Asteya: Non Stealing - one should give acknowledgement and be in the practice of supporting others
- Brachmcharya: Non-excess - Historically this is about sexual abstinence but to me about giving the right amount of energy towards others
- Aparigraha: Non-covetousness - one should give without expecting anything in return.
We can't forget the NIYAMAS though because it gives you the inner tool to work on yourself so you can empower others. You cannot love others without loving yourself first.
NIYAMAS (Guidelines for actions towards oneself)
- Saucha: Purity, cleanliness
- Santosha: Contentment
- Tapas: Self discipline, commitment to daily practice, Heat
- Svadhyaya: Self Study, being in inquiry
- Ishvara Pranidhana: Surrender, Letting go of ego
And so that's it!
The Yoga Guide to (Female) Empowerment
For the bitchy yogis in your life - tell them to APARIGRAHA!!
And if you are feeling the urge to bitch then please meditate and practice AHIMSA.
And may #sinceritywins.
NAMASTE TO ALL!!!!
Can we be the better person and empower other women to be whoever they want to be and not what others want them to be?