Photo by Carli Jeen on Unsplash
I am a strong advocate for prioritising Self-Care, whether you are on or off the IVF soul-depriving train, and/ or especially if you are in the waiting limbo.
I think I spent my entire IVF journey (desperate in a way), to find things that made me happy, and what I found instead were things that brought my mind and body to state of rest and calm. At the same time, I took care of parts of who I am that I've never felt cared for before.
Your version of Self-Care might be running a 10K or doing HITT workouts, and they definitely can be on your list of self care activities but ask yourself this - how do you usually feel after? Do you feel energized? Or depleted? Do you feel guilty or free? Do you feel rushed or rested? Is your Self-Care serving your higher Self (capital S - your truth of who you are) or your ego (your smaller s - self)?
Like for example, I love to read, and reading is Self-Care to me, and in the beginning, it helped me destress and distract me from my worries. (It still does)
My problem is that reading became destructive to my peace of mind, as I got addicted to it!
At one point, my kindle purchases was higher than my Iherb purchases; I mean I can speed-read 5 books in one day. And I re-read my books as well.
It's nice to read, but it does not allow me to feel what I feel and address the fears that kept me up at night, and ultimately, when I get lost in the stories, it didn’t give me space to heal.
You know the nervous system? When you are stressed, your nervous system goes into the fight or flee mode. Did you know there's another mode - it's the Freeze mode.
It’s a sensation of numbness to me. You don't know if you are happy or sad. You are just existing. I feel like I’m floating in nowhere-ness. I think I’m happy? But am I really? Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt numb?
So in way a way, when I read, I am numbing myself from feeling too much, similar to someone who drinks or do drugs. In other words, I freeze my problems. I am in hiding.
But thanks my personal inner work (and of course - yoga), I catch myself when it becomes a crutch instead of a support system. The trigger is when i start a new book at 1155pm when I know I need my sleep, and I know that I won't sleep because I wont be able to put the book down.
It's all about balance, right? I still do read, and there are days when I will give myself permission to read as much as I want to because it’s a way for me to care for myself, to protect myself and so it’s a great coping mechanism. And I will stay in for a little while to sooth my soul and then I’ll make my way out.
And…… that just became a really long story. But what I'm trying to get at it is the choices that you make for your Self-Care is important and it all depends on your intention and it MUST fit your lifestyle, so you can make consistent nourishing habits for LIFE.
There's no right or wrong way to practise Self-Care - but consider this - wouldn't you want to care for parts of who you are that you've never felt cared for?
If that is a yes, then do choose Self-Care practices that:
Energizes you and gives you joy
Brings your mind and my body to a state of rest and calm
Fits your lifestyle so you can practice for LIFE.
Takes care of parts of who you are that you've never felt cared for
The list below are Self-Care practices that that are safe for your IVF journey and you can do them from the comfort on your own home.
I create this list because I don’t know about you, but when I was going through IVF, I was pretty much an anti-social butterfly, or rather I was in my chrysalis, but I do love my own company.
The beauty of these practices is that they are evergreen! Choose 1! Do all! Yogi’s choice! Enjoy!
At-Home Self-Care Practices for your IVF Journey and Beyond
Sleep 7-8 hours a day
Hydrate well
Go tech free first thing in the morning
Have a wholesome breakfast
Meditate
Journal
Fertility Yoga (My go-to is Legs Up the Wall)
Self study or Read a non-fiction/self help
Do something arty like painting, drawing, colouring mandalas
Take a nap
Care for houseplants (if you don't have a green thumb, buy flowers for yourself.)
At home spa day - from dry brushing, scalp scrub, deep hair conditioning, face mask, lotion up etc (ps. don’t forget to burn candles or switch on your EO diffuser)
Self-imposed health detox day - eat fresh fruits and veges, ie coffee, alcohol, sugar, processed food, and no food deliveries
Cuddle a pet (if no pets, - wake up a little earlier and cuddle your husband in the morning :)
Talk therapy
Social media detox
Binge watch movies
Play your favourite tunes the whole day (optional: to dance)
Relaxing Feet Soak (I add lavender salts in mine - I love this one from Aura Cacia)
Declutter the space that you spend most of your time in
Visualise your next holiday, OR what you desire your life to look like, to feel like
Listen to podcasts like Dear Gabby (my one and only), Big Fat Negative (Rina’s contribution), Joe Rogan (husband’s contribution)
So sum it up - self care - I know you know it’s important ! So DO IT! Make Self-Care a priority, and schedule Self-Care into your day to day life.
Let me know which ones are you trying this week!
