You’re my best friend!! 💖💜 That’s his declaration to me a couple of months into our marriage.
Who? Me? Aww! Sure, You’re my best friend too!
Truthfully, in the beginning, I had doubts. It sounded weird.
We were “boyfriend and girlfriend” for a long time, so we were naturally friends. Never did it cross mind that we could be best friends.
Urban Dictionary defines “a bestie” as a person who means the world to you. The person that when you met you just kinda connected. The person that you were always there for. Someone that when they get hurt it hurts you too. Someone who no matter what happens between you two everything always ends up being alright. A person you can trust with anything.
[Sounds like the hubster, but……]
It also says that a bestie is a person that isn't a love partner but they hold a special place in your heart.
So… there - I’m not weird! Not only does social norms dictate that a love partner isn’t your bestie, I myself also think it is not plausible because look at my parents! From what I know of their relationship, I didn’t think they were even friends.
Ironically, during a Tinkle Friend training, there was an example of a boy whose parents quarrel every night, and we were discussing if it’s right to normalise the quarrel. One person argued that it’s not normal and yet it is normal for me as that was my childhood.
There is nothing wrong or right about my childhood, only that, it did shape my thoughts and my actions today and I know it’s not me.
I can change. I don’t want to be like my parents. I’m not my parents.
I’m ready to do it differently from what I know it to be because it’s possible NOT to repeat the past and be a stand for the kind of life I want to have.
And it’s also very possible for my bestie to be a person who holds a special place in my heart and could possibly be my love partner. Like my husband.
My hubs repeated those words everyday, “you’re my best friend” “you’re my best friend” “you’re my best friend” ……. that it stuck with me and completely changed how I looked at him and our relationship.
It makes having conversations easier, especially the difficult ones, and I love him more for wanting to be my best friend.
Even though I annoy you a whole damn lot and you have a constant feeling to want to strangle me - I know you love me loads. We have a special relationship us twos! Not perfect, but just the way I love it!
I acknowledge you Mr Thom “Tookie” Sanders, for showing me a beautiful way of living our lives together; as lovers, as husband and wife, as life partners and as my best friend in the whole wide world.
I love you. Zoots!
Are you best friends with you partner?
If you already are - awesome!
If you want to be or you think you are but it’s unspoken, can you say the words to them first? Someone has to start first.
Something as simple as “You are my best friend.” Without judgement and expecting the person to respond back. (First time he said it, my response was thank you! lol) And keep saying it. Until it sticks.
If you don’t want to be - that’s ok too.
Know that wherever you are in your relationship, if there’s nothing broken, there’s nothing to fix. All you have to do is be willing and open to discover something new. Go into your heart space and ask yourself what do you really want to make happen and MAKE IT HAPPEN! BE A YES!
Anything is possible.
You are worthy of joy and love.
You deserve it.