Status Quo. Superflexible yoginis inspiring the world one pose at a time . Ballet trained Pilates teachers . Long & lean dancers with nicely-pointed feet .
I don’t tick all the boxes. I could let this stop from doing what I love doing. Sometimes it does. Like when I am dancing, I always feel self-conscious. That I’m not good enough and that people are talking about me behind my back. Even when I started doing teacher training - deep in my heart, I knew wanted to be a teacher, but I was afraid to say it out loud. I was too much in my head. I never had the intention to teach full time. And I was planning to kinda see how it goes. Even then, I never voiced out my desire to teach to anyone, because I was afraid of what people will think of me? I wasn’t flexible and I can't do any of the advance poses, how can I teach? What if I am not good enough?
And I just came to a realisation recently that I am a perfectionist. (who would have guessed?) I have to make sure everything goes well, everything looks good, and then worry that it doesn’t.
But, I kept showing up! I’m a rebel like that. And I did things that I never thought I would ever do. I performed in New York and LA; among other performances. And I quit my job so I can go into teaching full time.
I am learning to let go of my need to be liked. I am learning to let go of my need to be flexible. I am learning to let go of my need to please everyone. I am learning to be kinder to myself, take it slow and breathe easy.
Because that it doesn’t matter what other people think as long as I am doing things right for me, as long I am teaching what I think they need. I need to trust my training and my life experiences because they are enough for me right now.