So this instagram post popped on my feed a few days ago, by Pregnantish, and it was sharing about Kristen Wiig, having her twins via surrogacy after years of IVF.
My first thought was good for her.
Then I started reading comments calling out Kristen Wiig for not being transparent about how she got her twins at her age.
TBH I wasn’t triggered by her pregnancy news but I was triggered by all these women triggered by the fact she wasn’t upfront about how she got there - wanting her to declare if it’s donor or her own eggs because she's like 50 now?
I'm triggered because I'm a private person, and I do get it where they are coming from, but seriously, I think it's none of their business.
I could have commented, on that post, but it will not be kind and not be aligned with my values.
Thus, instead I put on my CSI hat on, and did a google search to find out what's going on.
Guess what I found:
It was old news
Interview was done in 2020; she was 46,
Welcomed the twins via surrogate in Jan 2020
Has struggled through 3 years of IVF prior to making the decision for surrogacy
This is the original article, if you want to read it:
I don't feel any relief to find out that there is a high probability that her twins are from her younger 44-45 year old embryos.
But I do feel relieved that I stuck to my guns of choosing peace instead of doing what other people, both in real life and IG, are doing, ie. being so open with their lives.
I don’t think I need to justify why I choose to keep IVF struggles private, so I won’t.
The point I'm trying to make is ALL OF US, and especially celebrities are entitled to their privacy, especially with the focus on prioritising mental health,
Case in example, another news is Naomi Osaka, and most recently, look at the brouhaha around Kate Middleton, who is probably going through something in her life, and the gossip magazines won't leave her alone.
But then again that's the price of being in the limelight, but doesn't mean that they don’t deserve privacy in certain parts of their life.
If only this adage of “if there’s nothing good to say, then don’t say anything” but that’s not how media works. You need to put controversial headlines, if you want to make the news and go viral, especially if you are in the business of making money.
I question myself sometimes being on the gram because I’m a private person.
I feel that my “business” is struggling because I don’t share enough,
I'm bad at talking off the cuff, or going LIVE - it's just not me. I can even summarise my IVF experience in 1 paragraph.
Basically you won't see me giving you daily update about what's going on in my life or go on podcasts. If that's what you want, I’m sorry!
But know that every time I post, every time I write my blog, every time I mentor someone / teach - what you get is the real me. I'm doing my best to be of service and support you as my authentic self.
Sometimes I feel that being on the gram is like going through multiple IVF cycles; they say it gets easier, but not really.
It’s really just me.
And if you are still here, inspite of all of that, I want to say appreciate all of you because it means I'm doing something good right, right?
That's why, even though once in awhile, I do dream of what it’s like to be an influencer but I’ve accepted that it’s not me! (I’m the problem….)
In the beginning of the year, I created my desire statements, to strengthen my manifestation energy and which I refer to often - to remind me of who i want to be for myself and others.
What I want really is to start a business as a Fertility Support Specialist. I want to work on mothering - myself, my inner child, my Braving Infertility community, and one day, my future child. And I surrender these desires and I trust I'm guided and I'm protected and i'm safe and loved.
I will continue showing up as I am and do more inner work on chasing the likes
So moral of this story……
You do not have to share your story at all. And if want, you can share part of your story that is safe to share, because you deserve to feel safe and at peace!!
xo