Corn Pops make me Happy!
I wrote a really long instagram post the other day - about being afraid of being fat, which had lots of wonderful reactions from people, which made me feel good that I’m not alone in this.
Here’s the LINK if you want to read it.
I've always hidden my “fat” stories because I am embarrassed that I’ve put on weight. I used to whine all the time after a decadent holiday and I’d desperately try to lose it before others noticed.
It’s a growing up pain, I’m sure you understand - and the 'Fat Days" always come, even if the silly mean auntie doesn't point it out to you.
The story I tell myself, a story we tell ourselves. It doesn't come up all the time, when it does, it makes me feel ugly and unwanted. It’s a warped view of how we should look like, what’s our ideal weight, shape or size.
Peer pressure play its role too - I used to dance, and there’s a lot of judgements in the dance world unfortunately. It doesn't help that I don't have a typical dancer's body, and so there's this innate desire to look better than the girl next to me. Even with yoga - I’m fighting an inner battle with the “perfect” yoga bodies on Instagram.
Then there's the wellness this, vegan that, crossfit this, paleo that - it’s really hard surviving the world these days to look the way they think you should look once you get on the “healthy” bandwagon.
But I discovered after writing that instagram post, that I’ve dropped the need to look good.
If you think about it, there’s different versions of healthy, as there are different body types, and it doesn’t have to be or look the same in every aspects of our lives.
I'M NOT FAT!
Truthfully I’m really not fat; the old me is my old me. I know I've put on weight. My new me has more womanly curves, perhaps she has to upsize some of her clothings, but my new me is healthy and strong inside and outside.
It has been tiring the last 40 years, silencing the inner critic in my head, the ping-ponging of thoughts. I am, I'm not. And now that I’ve let go a little bit of the “weight”; I feel light.
The difference between Now and Then, is that Now, I ate Happy. (and sometimes I eat Healthy And HAPPY!
A friend of mine, Lisbeth (@all_about_yoga) shared her new way of eating by asking herself why she wants to eat certain things. She said "If the answer to “why” is because it makes me happy and I’ll still be happy with my decision tomorrow, then heck ya I’m gonna eat it! Pass me a pineapple tart!”
Today I am committed to eat happy and I want to start a #ProjectEatHappy
It’s pretty easy, whenever you eat something that you think may be on the crux of being “unhealthy” like that hokkien mee or the bacon cheese non-gluten-free burger or 10 pineapple tarts....
Stop and ask yourself -
if I eat this, will it make me happy?
I’m not purporting that you gorge yourself silly and get yourself obesely fat.
I want you to eat with intention and eat happy! Don’t eat mindlessly or when you’re sad.
Ask yourself why are you eating and will it make you happy?
Anyways, here's my letter to that Mean Auntie who asked that dreaded question! I will not send to her, but writing it did make me feel a wee bit better. :P