Am I Good Enough

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"I am not important."

"I am not wanted."

"I am not good enough."

"I am not loved."

"I am not understood."

"I am a failure."

"I am bad daughter."

"I am ugly.”

“I am stupid."

The lies that we tell ourselves every single day if we stop and listen hard enough. Unconsciously, they keep coming up because when we were kids, things happen to us, that mould us to be the person we are today - good and bad; but we have accumulated negative beliefs that weigh us down and is holding us back from standing in our own power of being.

Here I am, older, wiser, beautiful, confident, and i am still telling myself these lies. I catch myself. Then I start to laugh. But it's no laughing matter before I became self-aware, which can be a couple of minutes or perhaps weeks!! 

Doubt starts creeping in, that I'm not good enough and I’m a failure. The feelings that come up will be sadness, embarrassment, shame, guilt and I become defensive, apologetic and very small. I don’t dare do things, because I am afraid I will suck at it. I look for people for approval. I'm afraid to speak out for fear of saying the wrong thing. I plan things to perfection to “just-in-case” bad things happen. And I believe this lie so much so, that outwardly I start to behave badly too. And the joke is, most of the time, it’s my perception and not what others were thinking of me. I was putting my thoughts in other people’s head.

If not for the work I’ve done in Power Living and Baptiste Yoga training, I would not have been aware of my lies. I would not have delved into managing my trigger points and knowing when it happens so I can stop and listen and choose not to listen to these lies. That's what they are - LIES!

 

I am beautiful.

I am important.

I am wanted.

I am loved.

I am understood.

I am good enough.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
— Marianne Williamson




Truthfully, I am afraid that I can be powerful and I wouldn't what to do with it. Because I've not been powerful in my 40 years of living on this earth. Yes there is some defining moments but most of the time,  I fall back on my default patterns because it is what I've been doing everyday and it’s damn easy to hide behind my lies. But what if, I am successful? What if I am I can transform lives? What if I can be bigger than myself?

The answer is all on the inside. We can never get rid of the lies because it is ingrained in us. But we can learn to manage it by finding a new way of being. Only we can get out of our own way. It is a constant work in progress, so we have to keep doing the work.

Get out of your head.

Have courage.

You've got it.

Courage.

It's all on the inside.

The answers are all in your heart.

Where in your life are you playing small? If anything is possible, what would you do? 

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